i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
