We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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