He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
