if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pants are for mortals
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
