Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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