Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
