If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
