I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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