how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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