I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
