I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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