dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
