We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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