I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
