He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
