..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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