Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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