Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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