We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
