im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
