She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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