pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Can Purell be used as lube?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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