I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
