it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
