You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
