but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
