pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize