You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
