I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
