"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
