so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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