Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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