Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
