i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
