First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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