I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
