she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
