yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
