So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
