Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I love you. Go after that dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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