Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
