am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
