sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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