Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
