hotel room ftw
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
