Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
