Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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