this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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