All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I smell like Dick and happiness
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
