nut hugger
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
