i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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