Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
