Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
