I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
