a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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