margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
