Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize