i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize