Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
