I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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